The Interesting Part
The art of piss-break timing.
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Check out the the audio version, narrated by ever-awesome Justin Fife.
“Imma go grab another beer real quick.” Said Mr. God.
“You’re gonna miss it, hon.” Replied Mrs. God without taking her eyes off the TV screen.
“Nah, it’s still gonna be centuries before they climb off the trees.” Mr. God stood up. “And besides, I really need to pee.”
“Fine.” Shot back the Missus. “Just don’t go sulking when your little pet project invents the wheel completely on their own, without your divine intervention.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Mr. God took a tentative step towards the kitchen, stopping abruptly, stumped by a dilemma. Should he swing by the loo first or do it on his way back after he grabs the beverage? Unzipping the fly tends to be muy complicado when one of your hands is indisposed holding an open bottle.
“Hey, sweety, do you think you can grab the remote and…” He began, only to be interrupted by the lady of the house.
“I’m not pausing time so you can fetch yourself another drink, OK?” She spat. “And besides, you already had two, should you absolutely have another?”
“I’m God! I can handle three beers.” Said Mr. God proudly.
“Yeah? Tell that to our rug.” Mrs. God waved her hand dismissively. “I can still see the stain, despite it being dry-cleaned twice.”
“That was an accident! The meat in those tacos…”
“Right. Do whatever you want. You’re God after all!” She said, mockingly.
“Damn right I am!” Snapped Mr. God and confidently stepped in the direction of the fridge.
***
“Ooooookay, what did I miss?” Said Mr. God, crashing back into the couch a few moments later.
Mrs. God just nodded wordlessly towards the TV screen, her facial expression ashen.
It took Mr. God a while to take in the view that featured a bare, gray rock, still smoldering in huge swathes, just floating pointlessly in space.
“Did you change the channel?” He gasped. “I was watching this!”
Mrs. God shook her head, then jumped off the couch and took off towards the bedroom. In the doorway, she turned, wiping a runaway tear with her sleeve.
“They…” She stuttered. “While you were taking your sweet time in the bathroom… your little humans… they… they invented more than a wheel.”
Yikes! Amusing, charming and then...BAM!
I love It! And now I want a beer 😁